“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” – Robert Browning
Dealing with empty nest syndrome can be a challenge. If you are an Empty Nester, or will soon be an empty nester, this blog will give you helpful ideas for thriving during this transitional phase in your life.
For years our lives revolve around our children. Every day is consumed with their needs. From meals, to sports, to bedtime stories, we move through each day on auto pilot. Doing what needs to be done, and for their health and happiness we do it all willingly. We are mothers after all.
Year follows year at this pace until suddenly they’re grown. They leave for college or to start a life of their own. Doing what we have so lovingly and devotedly raised them to do. When they’re gone we look around our empty homes that are suddenly quiet and still.
The energy shift is substantial. Empty space all around us where once our children hovered. We are adrift. What to do now? We are an empty nester. What do we do when our lives have been consumed with, and by, others for so long and we are suddenly faced with empty nest syndrome?
Ladies I have been here. It may feel bleak, and certainly lonely at first, but not only will you adjust, you will learn to thrive. Let’s talk about five healthy ways you can go from feeling lost to having purpose again. These are thing things that helped me and I think you will find them valuable in helping you with empty nest syndrome as well.
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1. Take Up A Hobby
For years you have been driving to and from sporting events, dance recitals, and band concerts. Cooking meals multiple times a day. Doing laundry-a lot of laundry. Cleaning the house in a never-ending cycle of despair about its state of being. So take a step back. Make a cup of tea and sit down with a notebook.
Try to remember when you existed as a person autonomous of your children. What did you like to do? How did you fill your time? Is there something you have always wanted to learn to do? Something you always said you would try when you had the time but never had the time? Ladies now is your time.
Whether it’s playing pickleball at the local gym, building puzzles, or learning to sew, picking up a new hobby serves several purposes. It fills your time. Filling that time will keep you from feeling the loneliness of your empty nest. It forces your mind to concentrate on something other than where your kids are and what they are doing.
Finding a healthy interest will focus your attention on something constructive. It brings peace. You may also get additional benefits such as a lower BMI, pretty table mats, or a challenge that keeps your mind young. Depending on which hobby you have chosen. Have fun with this. After all, your time is yours again.
2. Volunteer
You are use to spending your time serving others, so volunteering now that you have some free time is the natural path.
Whether it’s volunteering at your church, your local food bank or homeless shelter, find a cause you believe in. Then fill up some lonely hours making other peoples lives better. Just like you always have.
This time your focus is just outside of the home. It’s proven that when we give to others we are happier human beings. Giving our time is not different. In blessing other people we are blessed in return.
3. Spend Time In Nature
There is something so healing about being out in nature. A walk through the woods brings peace. A hike allows you to spend some pent-up frustration doing something good for you and working up a sweat.
There is even science behind this. If you google it, you will see that studies prove that being near trees lowers stress, cortisol, and blood pressure levels.
So this weekend when you wake up and no one is waiting for you to make them breakfast, take a walk. Climb a mountain. Walk on a beach. Plant or weed the garden. You will be glad that you did.
4. Cultivate A Friend Group
If you have a friend group already, good for you! Get them together and do something fun. Start a girls night out once a week.
If on the other hand you look around and suddenly realize that you only hung out with other parents…because they were other parents. You are in need of some friends—go find them. You may already have some obvious connections if you take up a hobby that involves other people (like a cooking class) or when you meet other people volunteering.
Being with people who share the same interests as you is a really solid start to a friendship. Then invite those new friends to go on the hike with you and you have a win win situation. We are not meant to do life alone. Building a friend circle creates a circle of support for you in this next phase of your life.
5. Start Self Care
I remember a time when my girls were little that I was grateful for 5 minutes to use the toilet alone. Anyone else? Somehow the self care thing got left behind. That would be later I would tell myself. When the kids don’t need me. When I have more time to myself. Well, later is here. Let the self care begin!
Start with a skin care routine. Until after I was forty I barely even cleansed my face, let alone took the time to tone, treat, and moisturize. Now you have time to focus on yourself. Watch YouTube videos on skincare. Read blogs and articles about products. Figure out a system that works for you where you are at in your journey.
Interested in starting a skincare routine but don’t know how? Check out my post on creating a skincare routine here: Skin Care Routine for Anti Aging.
Try out a new hairstyle. This can do wonders for our confidence. It’s like giving the old girl a serious refresh.
Buy a gym membership or start taking a yoga class. Work on the body you have always wanted for yourself.
Read some books that help you grow as a person. Engaging your mind will make you less likely to brood over memories of what was.
Start journaling as a way to cope with all of the emotions that you are facing right now. Just putting your feelings on paper and getting them out of your head is tremendously beneficial.
Start a gratitude journal. Concentrating on the things you’re a blessed with in your life keeps your mind from focusing on negative thoughts. It’s an energy shift that will bring you a sense of contentment.
In Conclusion
We will always hold the memories of our time with our children close to our hearts. Those are treasured years. Being an empty nester can feel overwhelming and lonely at first but you can thrive during this new time in your life.
Make this time your time to care for your mental and physical well being. Our children are out doing what they are meant to do. And we have to find a way to move on with life. One puzzle, one walk, one girls night at a time, we will forge a new path for ourselves.
“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means that you have done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach how to soar on their own.”
—Author Unknown
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