One of the greatest benefits of being human is the ability to choose how to live our lives. There may be circumstances in our lives that may make obtaining this life we love more challenging, but we are the ones responsible for our days, how we spend our time, and the attitude in which we live it. The power of choice. Let’s talk about how we can create a life you love by using this one gift—choice. Our minds are incredibly powerful and connected to everything around us in a way that the western world is just beginning to explore more deeply.
A lot of the time we go through life on autopilot. Making the same choices we always have….because we always have. We can easily get stuck in negative thought patterns. Patterns that restrict our ability to grow into the person we want to be, which in turn will lead to a life we love. The two things are intrinsically connected to one another. We are responsible for our own lives. We have the power to change our life. How do we do this?
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1. Visualize a life you love
Before you can create a life you love you need to determine what that is. EXACTLY what that is. In detail. What does your lovely life look like? Visualize yourself living this life, going through your days. Ask yourself the following questions:
What would I spend my time doing in a life I love?
What people would I be spending my time with?
What are the goals I would have accomplished?
Where would I work?
Where would I live?
How would I dress?
What would I spend my money on?
Get into as much detail with yourself as you can. Be honest and clear. This is just for you and no one else so be as real about what you want as you can.
2. Begin to move in the direction of that life
Once you can visualize every part of that life pretend you are already living it. Now work backward. How did you start to put this life together? What changes did you make to get where you are? What did you have to do first, second, third, and so on.
Write this out step by step. Once complete, what you have is an action plan for your future. A visual roadmap to get you exactly where you want to go. Now all you have to do is start. Start by putting the first step in place and then move on to the next one.
Make choices that align with the values and goals of the person leading that life. This will most likely mean making some changes, both internally and externally. It may also mean letting go of people or things that don’t align with that life and are not healthy for you.
Don’t wait. Don’t make excuses. In the book, You Can Heal Your Life, author Louise Hay states that “your point of power is in the present moment.” What does she mean by that? She is saying that the past is gone and we can’t do anything about it, the future isn’t written yet, so all of our power to create who we want to be and the life we want to live is in this very moment. The decisions you make now. What you do and do not do right now.
I think Dr. Seuss said it best: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” — Dr. Seuss
3. Let go of the past
The past is gone. When you are tempted to dwell on things that have happened to you in the past, or things you have done that you are ashamed of, understand that this is a pattern that is holding back your present. It only has the power that you give it.
Let go of those negative thoughts and feelings. Your point of power is right now, in the present moment.
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4. Do everything from a place of love
Every time someone gets back what they deserve, good or bad, we tend to say things like “Karma” or “what goes around comes around.” Whether you actually believe in Karma or not, I think we can all agree that there is a general principle in life of getting back what you give.
If you spend your days grumpy and believing that everyone is out to get you, you end up attracting grumpy people and people are going to tend to be more grumpy around you.
If you are kind and generous to everyone around you, people (in general) will be kind back. Your life is going to be one filled with kind and generous people. Love is in fact THE most powerful force in the universe. Not in a frilly unicorn sort of way. But in a very real tangible way that changes lives.
Create a life you love from a place of love inside of you. Be grateful for what you have right now. Content with your current state of being. But ever moving towards that higher calling you have for your life.
5. Recognize your own value
No amount of transformation in your life is going to actually happen until you are able to recognize your own value. Not the value of your house. Not the value of your car. Not the value of your wardrobe or designer handbag. Just you.
You must be willing to recognize and accept that you are inherently valuable. Your worth is not measured by the things you own, or the size of your bank account, or the size of your pants.
If you struggle with this then you need to start with this. Do the work to find out why you don’t recognize your value and heal. There are many good books and podcasts that can help you with this. Because nothing good can come out of a heart and mind filled with self-loathing.
You must love yourself. Care for yourself. Make yourself a priority. First. Then you will be able to move towards your goals and dreams.
6. Believe in abundance
When we struggle in life we tend to get stuck in mindsets that keep us in our struggles. If we struggle with money we tend to think that we are just meant to be poor. If we struggle with health we tend to think that we are meant to be sick or ill. But you are meant for more.
There is a plentiful supply of all good things in this world. Plenty of love, plenty of kindness, plenty of money, plenty of jobs, and plenty of opportunities for healing. Shift your mindset to one of abundance rather than lack. Accept that the world is full of good things. And you deserve them.
7. Do not compare yourself to others
Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” You will never appreciate what you have when you are busy looking at what other people have. I think we all know by now that the lives we see portrayed on Instagram and YouTube aren’t necessarily real. They are just snippets of life. But somehow they still make us want to be a little bit younger, prettier, thinner, richer, etc.
Don’t look outward, look inward. Stephen Covey said “An abundance mentality springs from internal security, not from external rankings, comparisons, opinion, possessions, or associations.” It’s incredibly hard to be grateful for your 2010 Ford Fusion when you are busy drooling over your neighbor’s 2022 Mercedes. We all could stand to be more grateful for the blessing that are already in our lives.
If you are going to spend time on social media make sure that you unfollow anyone who doesn’t make you feel good. Choose to follow people who align with your core beliefs, values, and goals. That way when you are consuming social media you are feeding yourself something healthy rather than toxic.
Let’s sum up how to create a life you love
Creating a life you love IS possible. Get clear on what that life looks like for you and then begin to make choices that move you in the direction of that life. One step at a time, move into alignment with the future that you want. From a place of love and gratitude approach each new step in the process. Hold onto your internal confidence and don’t compare your journey with anyone else.
“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” — Marilyn Monroe
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